12 September 2006
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I've been meaning to write about the concept of a bubble, and living in one, and trying to filter everything out of my life that is stressful or frustrating or annoying, or worrisome world events... and yet somehow I can't get the words out the way they sound in my head. I don't *really* want to live in a bubble, but when family issues, school, the political upheavals of the world etc. somehow get to be too much, I feel like a turtle who wants to pull into her shell, or an ostrich hiding her head in the sand. The problem is, the headaches don't disappear, they are still out there, and avoidance doesn't mean the solution to the problems.
And all of this is at the one and the same time based on specifics and concrete things that are bothering me, as it is on the clearly wildly fluctuating hormones coursing through my body. I am convinced that their balance has shifted again, since I am starting to break out (have had super clear skin all pregnancy), since I am generally very weepy, since morning sickness (!) is back (usually only in the mornings, though), and my fuse is short. Who knows what that means, but I know for sure that the lack of hormones post partum, or the new hormones etc. will probably have a field day with me!
Talking about, my 36 week appointment was really productive, I thought. I'll find out if I'm Group B Step positive or negative (meaning: IV or not during labor) tomorrow, and it turns out I'm already a tad dilated and effaced... meaning steps in the right direction. My obgyn did tell me that those steps meant nothing this early on, but that if I did go into labor, they wouldn't stop me. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! And the sharp stabbing cervical pain apparently is good news for me... that's the baby's head pressing down, helping along with the dilation!
I'm going to keep on plugging on work a bit more, and continue the baby-clothes-washing-marathon (washing the waterproof sheets and pads right now) that I have embarked on... and try and snap out of this grumpiness!
dandlioneyes at 1:50 pm