14 September 2006
primary elections... this is for real.
So we sat down last night to fill in our absentee/by mail primary ballots to get them off in a timely fashion... and I was amused/shocked about some of the people out there, running for office. Heck, seriously, if they can run, a struggling folklorist who can't finish her friggin' dissertation has just as much as a chance, if not a better one. Not that I want to run, nay nay, but I'm just saying. And let me prep you in advance by saying: these are just too good to have made them up!
My favorite highlight: a senatorial candidate who firmly believes that presidents Kennedy and Johnson didn't push the space race far enough in 1969; that space colonization is really the only way to go. Some of his tenets? Move away from Spaceship Earth and colonize space, because we are outgrowing what we have. Women are needed in space, too, apparently, so he really is a candidate for all the people. (rolls eyes). Space colonies should be privatized, to minimize economic waste. To prevent outer habitat drift, netting will be used to attach them to space floats (whatever those are).
I know. My point exactly: are is he for real? Apparently. He's on the ballot.
And then there is the guy who has a beard like the abominable snowman (the yeti, bigfoot) without a last name who ran for governor in 2004, who wrote his campaign statement in Dr. Seuss-like rhymes. He's running against Mr. Space. And I quote: " Listen to the thunder, hear the Governor roar; M!ke the Mover�s loose again, and knocking at the door! Load up the cannon, call out the law, �cause it�s the biggest calamity folks have ever saw. Girls run and hide, brave men shiver, every time they think they hear the name of M!ke the Mover." That makes me want to vote for him. Really it does.
I'm just saying, I really do think a folklorist could come up with a more "generally accepted" platform. I'll let you know how "Goodsp@ceguy" (that IS, apparently, his middle name) does in the primaries, and the yeti. Any votes on which one of them will take more votes? I'm not holding my breath here....
dandlioneyes at 11:44 am