19 January 2007
hot chocolate -- why not!
Time just seems to fly. Instead of in days, I now see it go by in weeks. How old is Miss E. now? Oh, wait, let me count the weeks... and here we already are, she's almost 16 weeks old, and has had her second set of shots, and we're almost through January. It makes me shake my head. It is a blur, and I don't think I can do anything to slow down time.
The cold spell which hit Washington last week has finally broken, which is a relief, since I didn't feel good about walking outside with a little baby in temperatures dipping into the teens. Now the rain is stopping me... I guess I just make excuses. No wonder my jeans still don't fit me. Or does the hot chocolate that I drink with some frequency have anything to do with that? Sigh.
A friend of mine announced yesterday she was pregnant. I haven't seen her in years, but we were in the Bahamas together a decade ago, on an excavation, and really hit it off. And now she is pregnant, and I had the strangest reaction: I was jealous. Not of the pregnancy. Not because of the pregnancy. In fact, I'm delighted for her. But the jealousy that reared its head was the jealousy and pain I had during those long, 16 months it took to conceive Miss E. Now that she is here, I'm so suprised that feeling is still around, but it is. Maybe, in part, it is still here, because I am scared that when we try to have another baby, it'll be hard again (not that we are trying any time soon, oh no!). But I was struck by how much that feeling was still a part of me.
On another note, I hate my dissertation, but what else is new... ugh. But I'm going to drink my hot chocolate now so it doesn't become cold chocolate, and then hop into a cozy bed, snuggle up, and get a nice, long night's rest. NO alarm clock on a Saturday, wahoo!
dandlioneyes at 11:06 pm