28 September 2002
weight of the world
(previous entry today, as well)
damn, i'm melancholy. sitting looking out at the duck soup, listening to classical music (vivaldi, right now). it looks like it should be a cold winter day yet it is going up to 70 degrees or so. there is a homeless man sitting outside who fished water out of a puddle to drink, and it made me feel like utter crap. i usually give change or dollars to people, i did especially in berkeley, but i lead such a fricking priviledged life it isn't funny. i complain about things like "oh, my department chair made me cry" - but life is so ridiculously tough for so many people. i think i need to scale back on materialism. i don't think i have time to volunteer, but i can give more $ to charities, try and make the world a bit better. so this all sounds a little bleeding-heart-esque right now, but i'll tell you, this world is upside down and on its head, and i feel like i, too, am standing on my head. jeesh. i think, as long as i am conscious of the things that bother me, i can try to do something about them. then i get wrapped up in my own little world again.
bleh. i feel awful right now.
dandlioneyes at 11:40 am