05 January 2005
editing with ludwig
listening to beethoven's eroica, which is providing inspirational for editing. a red pen, eroica, and lots of text is being ruthlessly cut out of my one semi-complete chapter. what crap writing, though, seriously. the whole thing is disheartening. in part, i think, it is because i don't know what to say. in part, i think, it is because i am having serious anti-academia doubts, and that gives me next to no motivation.
ah well, the work must go on.
how does one switch out of academia if that is all one has ever done? does a phd matter to non-academics? is it something that is useful? applicable?
i could imagine sitting down and writing a novel after i finish. or pursuing my photography, which i love. and are any of these things lucrative? no. not usually. are any of these things practical? no. not really. but nor is academia, really, at least not in the abstracted form that i seem to be practicing it. i've always seen academia as a sort of masturbation, really, and i need to get away from that to something where i feel like what i do matters.
grey, rainy, california weather. it makes me sleepy. later gaters!
dandlioneyes at 4:11 pm