12 January 2002
snow (2 flakes)
11 pm.
tired. thirsty. tired.
meet virginia tomorrow.
we watched a movie called 1900 directed by bertolucci, with a YOUNG robert de niro and a YOUNG gerard depardieu.
heavyheavyheavyheavyheavy movie.
i didn't put my dream into dland, did i? about being in a computer game with emre, an adventure/haunted house... where i was trying to save each time, so that in case we died or the computer crashed, i could revert? like me in the game and me thinking as if i was playing the game. it was actually pretty scary.
ok, to bed. i'm going to start the 3 good things in my diary a day thing i did once in college, when i was feeling a bit down. makes you count the good things, even if they are small. i'm just scared right now, don't feel too strong. but as i told my friend ana once: when the fear is big, you need to rely on what you know is there, even if you can't at the moment see it.
1) saw former grad students of my dad's today, laura and michel, and they were supportive of the difficulties of grad school. made me feel a bit more confident in academia. there is something about the academic world i do like. an insidership that i know something about. something to ponder on.
2) my mom gave me a red, gold and black scarf from cuba. she has two identical ones. it really makes me happy (not that i got a present, but that we both have one)
3) it snowed for 5 minutes today, heavily, and i stood outside in it. and that made me happy!
night ya'll!
dandlioneyes at 11:00 pm