29 April 2003
angst and jumping through hoops
empty empty empty and then the tears.
that's me.
my sweetie went home today. that put me into the crying zone.
the exam is in 2 weeks. that put me in the panic zone.
i have low confidence, and then its like does it fucking matter, they aren't going to fail me... and it is a hoop to jump through. and if i don't fucking jump high enough, yes, partially my fault, too much tv and internet this year, but partially also their fault, no mentorship at all. and does it matter if i don't jump high enough? not really. i'm getting married. i STILL have $$ for next year to do research, and they can all bite my ass if they don't like what it is i do. what i want to do.
so take that.
damn, this angst is sort of awful.
night, all!
dandlioneyes at 9:55 pm