07 May 2004
part ii of "the last 5.5 years of my life"
*pow* *zap* *bang* *zounds* *crash* *sok* kerblamm*
holy rusty metal batman!
we're back, for part ii of dandlioneyes' grad-school adventures. last time you joined us, dandlioneyes had passed her first year exams and had survived year 1. "part 2: the advisor announces her departure, the program (aka comedy of errors) downsizes, and the ensuing tailspin"
once upon the following fall, dandlioneyes started year two of "grad school", wherein grad school was soon to become stress-central and morale-sucking-central. she saw her boyfriend (soon to be fiance, now husband) once every 6 weeks for a long weekend (INSANITY, WE DO BETTER NOW THAT I AM IN GERMANY). early that fall her advisor pulled her aside to tell her she had gotten a tenured job, head honcho of a very well respected institute here in goettingen, germany, and she had decided to leave for germany because it would be better for her kids and for her as well. i dumbly nodded, feeling the floor sink under my feet. whoooooop, no more floor, dandlioneyes floated around. actually, dandlioneyes' advisor promised her she could still supervise her dissertation, and she would, for all practical purposes, remain her advisor. because she was good with email. and she has kept true to that promise. anyways, what a shock for our poor little dandlioneyes!
she decided to try and get to know other faculty members, you know, to try and have contacts to other people other than her advisor. that proved to be insane. in one class, the prof. actually created such akward class dynamics as: no, dandlioneyes, you can't discuss this point with us. i know you know this since you were trained out west at that liberal school,but the other [morons was implied] don't know this and they must learn." talk about akward, talk about bad pedagogy, talk about creating a bad feeling, one of the new students managed to, without talking, get an A in that class; everyone else was held to a different standard than she, for some reason, and despite her second-class work she has sailed through. grade-discrepancies galore, and our little dandlioneyes decided that next year, sans advisor, she didn't want to be in filthadelphia anyways, so she applied to be an exchange scholar out west "for purely academic reasons". reason was, of course, to be together with her love, which worked, thankfully, because by the time her third year of coursework (load for the phd: 20 courses) rolled around, there was no funding for students, the university had decided to cap entry at 2 people per year (!!!), and much negativity abounded.
couple that with the fact that she was told by yet another professor: oh, i'm surprised you have made it so far, dandlioneyes, fresh out of undergrad, no-one has ever made it, everyone has dropped out. we thought you would, for sure. GEE THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDANCE!
couple that with her first TAing experience year ii, where, literally, dandlioneyes and her friend TAed for the witch in leather pants whose boobs hung out during her undergraduate lectures. that semester included being told to regrade the same 80 exams TWICE because first the grades were too low (we raised them?!?!?), then being told they were to high. we did all the work for the class, prepped all the exams, the students only came to us, my advisor had to intercede because we weren't talking to the witch by the end... it was nightmarish. the reviews at the end said that dandlioneyes and her friend had saved the class [love how i weave out of first and third person voice here all the time], and how the witch had a good sense of fashion but otherwise was a complete waste of their time, their money, and that the leather pants made her look fat. I KID YOU NOT. it was awful for the witch, obviously, but those reviews were bliss for us to read!
anywho, other than that, that was year ii. dandlioneyes moved out west, had trials and tribulations there but mostly loved being with her sweetie. she got engaged. the jerks back east didn't want to accept several of the courses she took, which was a mess, and around september 11th of that year (yes, 2001), she also found out that everything she owned had been stolen from her storage unit in west filthadelphia. so that was hard, too, but ultimately she got through it.
you know, honestly, in looking back on it i remember more the positive things. i have an awesome set of friends i got out of graduate school. my education? i don't know. sometimes i wonder. i think the worst things have been the usual suspects, no worse than other grad schools or programs. our problems: downsized to a program, the university wants to get rid of us and keeps on NOT replacing faculty; we are down to 3 1/2 faculty members. try geting good courses with that. the other problem: 2 of those 3 1/2 faculty members are old white men, and very old school at that: patronizing and all about squashing egos as opposed to drawing out your strenghts. but that is common too, no?
i'm almost done and i'll be glad when i'm done and i have no idea what i'll do afterwards. postdoc? fulbright? we'll see, but it will be ok.
Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big, black bat. Have a good day ya'll!
dandlioneyes at 10:20 am