18 May 2004
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well well well well well well well. a LOVELY evening last night, and i say taht tongue in cheek and sarcastically. i cried a lot (yes, the stress, and yes, the emotional @$#%^& going on in my life), and had a few nice calls with my hubby. then i tried to go to bed, but because of the party upstairs, aka the party "thrown by my upstairs neighbor who seem to think a party every day of the week is a good thing", i couldn't sleep, ended up rolling over to the couch in the middle of the night... and then i slept and snoozed and woke up feeling way too hot because the weather seems to be changing.
meaning.
a slow and unproductive day yesterday. i literally don't know where the time went.
a slow morning.
and my very first facial this morning, prescribed by the dermatologist. it involved a scrub, steaming, "extraction" (OW), a mask, and a soothing lotion. all in all, quite nice, and i am surprised at how relatively calm my skin looks after the "extraction". ah, love that euphemism.
so i don't know where i'm at in terms of emotional la la la la la la la. you know? it has been a while since i got this stressed; on the other hand, i am my harshest critic and, quite frankly, who the hell cares about how this goes? i do, my advisor does, but other than that... it doesn't matter in the big scope of life.
the big scope of life, to me, is being with the people i love and care about. and being there for them emotionally, financially if i need to and can be, bein there for them when they need me. the big scope of life are big events and small joys, the grief and pain that needs to be healed. that's what i need to focus on, you know?
dandlioneyes at 12:54 pm