02 July 2004
memories
[earlier entry]
Sitting in the archives, letting my mind �naturally� wander because I am working with people�s written memories, I think of my own.
I think of those memories I really long for, those moments that were amazingly special, where I think: I want to feel that way again.
I long for, for example, the time my love and I danced for the first time, way before we dated. We danced in the I-House caf� to the Gipsy Kings (Bamboleo), and he asked me to dance (after a large group of people had just danced together for a while), and we held hands and I notoriously can�t danced and was a nervous wreck but I felt really special. I liked those I-house caf� dances because they were small and intimate, and I knew everyone around me and the windows steamed up and I felt incredibly sexy and attractive and loved attention, and loved that my sweetie asked me to dance.
I long for those good college years where my group of friends was all around me, when I would drink a bit and dance and have wine-and-cheese parties, and not worry about setting the alarm clock or having responsibility. In reality I was a control freak in college (about myself; still am), but I did have, and do have in retrospect, this feeling of freedom from that time.
I long for the archeological digs I went on, especially the one in the Bahamas, where I got down and dirty in the mud. It had sex appeal, being an archeologist, and something about it is still oh-so-appealing.
I long for the summer adventures I�ve been lucky enough to have, those with my hubby and those on my own. Hiking in Kauai and kayaking in Belize; drinking salmiakki until the wee hours in Finland and singing out of tune, sweating in the sauna. I really had a bizarre romance with Finland which may not make sense, but the companionship was amazing and the country beautiful and the saunas amazing, and I crave that. I also cringe when I think that I danced the - was it a tango? was it something else? something like a polka, me thinks - at a dancehall. I don�t dance well when it involves dancing with someone else, and everyone was so good and I felt like a dweeb, but I did it anyway. That makes me cringe.
I long for being in the big city, any big city, and having someplace to go, those days that are busy and you navigate the streets like a pro and know what wagon of the BART to get on which will let you off right by the stairs.
I�d better get back to work.... later gaters!
dandlioneyes at 2:26 pm