25 January 2004
atrophy
must. get. out. of. this funk.
god, am i frustrated. i try to think - i honest to goodness try to think - and i get a blank wall. i get nothing. i get panic. i get the "my dissertation is worth crap" and "i'll never get a job" and the" want to quit" white-wall panic, which leads to apathy, which leads to brain atrophy. which is where i am at. brain. atrophy. not very fun at all.
i can't even let myself enjoy a frickin' weekend. i sit down. try to work. get frustrated. play mindless computer games. procrastinate some more.
all not very conforting. so to bed i go, 11 pm, and nervous and unproductive.... but tomorrow will be different. maybe better, maybe worse, but dagnammit it will be different. thank god for that.
dandlioneyes at 10:54 pm