05 May 2004
a slightly melancholy entry about wedding woes
[previous entry]
as some of you know, this year has been quite hard for me for a whole slew of personal reasons that i don't necessarily need to get into right now. i have them posted in the diary, but in the private folders, and some of you know what i am talking about. regardless, doesn't matter why, but it is really hard and frustrating for me to think back on my wedding. it was a perfect day. it was beautiful. i have never been so happy. all brides are radiant, right? i don't think i could have been glowing more. and i know that, abstractly, and i also know it because i felt it 11 months ago when we got married. but i want to be able to access that feeling. my sweetie and i are on two different continents this year. all the family crap that has happened has just put a dark cloud of the whole wedding. and i feel really bitter and sad about it, and i know that my bitterness doesn't really make matters any better, but still. it just hurts. i wish i could separate the wedding from what followed, but right now i can't. will i be able to later? i really hope so.
dandlioneyes at 1:58 pm